Stuck in the Area Between – last

As I sat on my balcony with a significant cup of espresso in a person of my oldest and most most loved mugs, on 1 of Nashville’s most perfect mornings, I appeared out above the downtown and the amphitheater. The mug was from my one mother times, and it is an precise wonder that it has survived this long. I recall when I to start with purchased it, and the second I observed it in the office retail outlet it built me smile. It exuded pleasure in my ordinarily gray environment. I sat on my balcony and imagined about that mug and that time in my everyday living, which compelled me to don’t forget this weekend when Dave Matthews was actively playing at the amphitheater proper off my balcony. I have been listening to Dave Matthews for as long as I have experienced that mug and when he begun enjoying 1 of my favourite songs “The Room Between” it brought me correct back again in time.

When I heard Dave Matthews sing “The Area Involving” for the 1st time it had an solely unique that means than it did Saturday night. The to start with time I listened to that tune I took it in its far more literal this means. For me, it was about a boy and a like that should never have occurred but did. A love that would by no means improve into what I had wished it would. Fast ahead fifteen years afterwards, and I am sitting on my balcony with a boy who took me out of the shadows and breathed lifestyle into my soul. So that chilly Saturday night, me and my boy snuggled under blankets listening to Dave sing The House Concerning and my thoughts was compelled to hear that music differently. It has develop into more a track about me as a man or woman than a enjoy I would like I experienced.

If you know me, you know that I wrestle with finding my purpose in lifestyle. I am normally chasing “what is upcoming,” “now what.” I have a significant challenge with waking up and getting no prepare for the working day. That struggle is less when I am functioning, but my new life delivers operate in spurts. When I am operating, I am jogging a million miles an hour. Normally, 7 days a week, often 10 to 12 several hours a working day, but when the show or challenge is above, and I am residence, it is as if I have slammed into a brick wall. I am commonly fatigued, craving my chicken’s faces, my individual mattress and coffee in my favorite mug on my balcony. The moment I have peeled myself off that brick wall, drank all the coffee, slept longer than sleeping attractiveness and hugged my chickens until they allow out a yelp “mother, my ribs” I obtain myself in the place in between and I am as dropped in that house as I was 15 several years ago.

I really don’t like that room concerning, I sense so restless when I am sitting in that space, and as a man or woman who hates improve extra than she hates peas, it has me craving adjust. I think that if I improve a little something that restlessness will go away and something will fill that room involving, something. Now, I have no new occupation on the horizon, no venture in the operates, no genuine options for the long term. Lifestyle is an solely blank canvas, and I can do just about just about anything I want to do, something to fill in that place, and it is so disheartening to me. Really don’t get me erroneous I am grateful for all I have in my existence, a good apartment, good children, good spouse. I am nicely conscious of how significantly I have occur, and I know that not everyone is “fortunate” ample to sit on a balcony full of bouquets on the lookout at the downtown of America’s newest “IT” metropolis with a cup of espresso and contemplate life.

Suitable now I don’t have any solutions on how to fill that place between and the greatest I can do suitable now is fill that mug up with far more coffee, sit on my balcony and hope the heat Nashville breeze will blow anything into that house and fill it.